The Unspoken

 

When I catch myself smiling without a word

At the bright, untamed colors of the blooms

A quiet peace settles in

A memory blooming right beside them.

When I watch a silly cat miss a butterfly

I laugh at the fleeting thoughts of us

Those soft, hesitant beginnings 

That once felt a little awkward

Now suddenly precious.

Though our paths barely crossed

Our world lived between folded pages and ink

The crisp tearing of a fresh envelope

The faint. floral scent clinging to the paper

The sudden tremble in my fingers

Just holding a letter written in your hand.

We wove whole seasons out of careful words

Sharing our thoughts, our quiet dreams

Understanding each other completely

Yet dancing around the truth

Leaving the sweetest things unspoken.

The frantic flutter of birds taking flight

Echoes the exact rhythm my heart used to beat when I read your lines

Hoping to find what you hadn't dared to write

That pure, suspended longing

It was the best feeling  I have ever known

And that is how I know

Out of nowhere

Across all these years

And all this distance

I am missing you again.

Keeping It Simple

 We’ve all been there. You look at a task on your desk, map it out in your head, and think, “Easy. This should be a breeze.”

But then the corporate machinery kicks in. The direction shifts. The goalposts move. The simple path suddenly turns into a maze of back-and-forth alignments, and what should have been a straightforward finish line becomes a moving target.

In moments like that, it’s easy to second-guess yourself. I’ve sometimes wondered if I’m just too simplistic in how I view things. I don't like to overcomplicate the narrative. I strive to understand what is required, deliver it efficiently, and move forward. I don’t value the noise of endless, circular debates just for the sake of looking busy.

But I’ve come to realize that striving for simplicity isn't a weakness; it’s a deliberate choice to protect your focus. And more importantly, I’ve realized that I am never navigating the complications alone.

Lately, when the frustration of shifting directions starts to build, I’ve found comfort in a deeper truth: Allah is always there to guide the outcome.

There have been moments at work where I’ve felt completely lost for words, entirely unsure of how to react to a sudden pivot or a confusing directive. Yet, time and time again, somehow, things just "click."The right words come when I least expect them. A chaotic situation suddenly settles into place. A stressful impasse turns into a resolved task. 

It might not always be the exact outcome I originally envisioned. It might not follow the neat, linear path I wanted to take. But looking back, it is always exactly what was best for my situation at that specific moment.

We can’t always control the shifting winds of our workplaces. We can’t stop people from complicating the simple things. But we can control how we anchor ourselves.

Do what is required. Keep your approach honest and uncomplicated. And when the noise gets too loud and the path gets blurry, take a breath and trust that you are being guided exactly where you need to go. The outcome will take care of itself.

A Tale of Two Stations

I have always believed that being Malaysian is a huge blessing, and honestly, the sheer size of our country is just perfect. My hometown is up in the North, and even at 300km away, it is completely reachable. If we were born in the US, China, India, or Australia, where a single domestic flight can take hours, traveling home would be a massive production. (Though, I admit, I did have a fleeting moment of being jealous of Singapore’s compact size!). Still, our geography is just right.

This random thought hit me today because I finally did something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I tried the KTM ETS (Electric Train Service)!!! Yeayyyy!!! It was the final weekend before the school holidays ended, and the thought of driving up North made my head hurt. The highways were guaranteed to be a solid wall of packed cars. So, my youngest son and I made a spontaneous decision. We had no grand weekend plans anyway, so we thought, why not scale the railroad once and for all?

We boarded the ETS at KL Sentral, bound for Kuala Kangsar. The journey took less than three hours, but it felt like a blink of an eye. For the first time in a long time, I actually enjoyed the process of traveling. Why? Because I didn’t have to do a single thing. There was no stressing over slow traffic, no dealing with rude drivers, no steering-wheel fatigue, and no hunting for parking at a packed RnR. Instead, we just sat back, read books, surfed the internet, had some snacks, and took peaceful naps.

Before we knew it, the announcement came, We had arrived !

The seamless experience didn't stop there. Once we stepped off the train at Kuala Kangsar, we ordered a Grab. I was barely getting ready to sit down and wait when my son looked up and said, "It’s here!"In less than ten minutes, we were already sitting comfortably at a mamak inside Unisquare, sipping hot teh tarik. We had an early lunch together before it was time for me to head back.

My return trip to KL with my son Aiman was scheduled for 1:36 PM, after saying goodbye to Hisham. When the time for Zohor prayers came, we used the station's surau. Compared to the hustling and bustling chaos of KL Sentral, Kuala Kangsar is a small station,but it has absolutely everything a traveler needs. The surau was clean and conveniently located right near the lift and stairs leading to Platform 2. Even though it was my very first time there, it felt incredibly homely and familiar.

The train arrived exactly on the dot. We found our seats with ease, and this time, the rhythmic movement of the train put us straight to sleep. I woke up with a start, looked out the window, and was shocked to realize we were already at Sungai Buloh! By 4:30 PM, we were stepping back onto the platforms of KL Sentral.

When I look back at the day, I’m amazed that we managed to travel out of KL, spend quality time up North, and return safely within an 8 to 9-hour window, all while feeling completely relaxed and refreshed. Leaving the car behind was definitely the best decision. It was a beautiful reminder that sometimes, the best way to move forward is to just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

AMY's Unfortunate Evening

We talk a lot about "corporate agility" and "problem-solving" in the office, but nothing tests your resilience quite like being stuck in a dark parking garage with a car that won't start and doors that won't lock. 

That was me yesterday. It’s 6:00 PM, the workday is done, and my mind is already halfway home. I get into my car, turn the key, and... click.  I heard the engine give a brief, weak grunt before the dashboard went completely blank. Silence. Only a stubborn warning light stayed on. I tried again. And again. Nothing!!!

Because the battery was completely drained, the central locking system refused to work. I couldn’t even lock the doors! For a fleeting moment, I thought about just abandoning the car in the office basement parking and dealing with the nightmare tomorrow. But with the lights stuck on and the doors unlocked, leaving it wasn't an option. I was officially stranded.

Then, a saving grace popped up on my phone. A few WhatsApp messages revealed that my colleagues were just about to leave the building. I shot out a quick SOS: "I can't start my car." Minutes later, my rescue team arrived, bringing an immediate sense of calm to the situation. The white knight BQN and the black panther RAX! Honestly, even if we couldn't fix the car right then, just having them there sharing the burden was enough. It’s amazing how a crisis shrinks when you aren't facing it alone.

As it turned out, RAX was harboring a secret weapon. "I have a portable jump-starter power bank in my car," he announced. Out came this surprisingly tiny device. We hooked it up and waited nervously, holding our breath. I climbed into the driver's seat, turned the key, and...vroom! AMY (yes, that's my car's name) roared back to life.

But the ordeal wasn't over. We spent the next 15 minutes letting the engine run. A debate ensued. BQN strategically suggested I at least drive AMY out of the basement (pro-tip: tow trucks hate tight basements). If the worst happened, a tow truck could actually reach me. But should I brave the drive home? Waze was showing a 40-minute journey. What if the engine dies in the middle of the road?

Leaving the car meant an anxious, ruined evening worrying about tomorrow. Driving meant risking a breakdown. Choosing optimism, I decided to trust AMY to keep her alternator running and make the trek home. If you think a dead battery is stressful, try driving a compromised car through KL traffic  when every single road on Waze is glowing bright red. To add to the drama, I took a wrong turn, making the nerve-wracking trip even longer. With my heart in my throat and prayers on my lips, I navigated the heavy traffic, terrified the car would stall.

But Alhamdulillah, before 8:00 PM, AMY and I rolled safely into my designated parking lot. An unexpected setback turned into a reminder of how lucky I am to have amazing people in my corner. A huge thank you to BQN and RAX. You guys are absolute lifesavers! Let's do masala soonest!

Lost in Time: Where Did May Go?

For the past few days, I’ve completely lost track of time. It really flies in a way I can’t quite fathom.

A day before Aidil Adha, I drove back to Parit Buntar all by myself. I had to leave the "internship boy" behind because he didn't have any extra leave (adulting strikes again!). I stopped by Kuala Kangsar to pick up my eldest, so it was just the two of us joining the family gathering on the eve of Raya. We had a great time catching up with the relatives. Quite a number of people turned up, but of course, Che Ani’s clan completely dominated the room!

On Hari Raya itself, it was all about enjoying a close, cozy gathering with my siblings and stuffing ourselves with rendang and ketupat. My entrepreneur sister cooked her famous, delicious mee kari. Unfortunately, I could only manage a few minimal bites because I was already bursting at the seams from eating everything in sight at my niece’s house earlier. Ultimate food regret.

By Thursday, I hit the road again, reaching Kuala Lumpur by afternoon. I was so glad the traffic wasn't a nightmare! Having Raya fall within the long school holiday period was a blessing, the traffic dispersed much better.

The social calendar didn't stop there, though. On Sunday, my eldest sister dropped by my house with my nephew and niece while sending her daughter back to UiTM Shah Alam. So, Sunday and Monday were spent out and about, running errands and doing bits and pieces.

Then came today aka Tuesday. I strictly told my sons: "Today is the day I do absolutely nothing."

Spoiler alert: We ended up shopping everywhere.

We started by having breakfast at Ramly’s Bistro, then hopped over to TF Value-Mart Batu Caves. After that, we dropped by Ustaz to buy a phone cover, which somehow gave us enough time to also hit up the nearest Mr. DIY and Watsons.

While pacing the aisles at Mr. DIY, a petite lady stopped me, looked way up, and asked if I could reach a toilet cleaner on the top shelf. I chuckled, reached up, and retrieved it effortlessly.Seriously, who decides to put heavy cleaning chemicals on the top shelf? Retail design flaw. But hey, lucky she met me! Hahaha.

It’s funny because I rarely think about my height, except during a certain photography sessions where I'm automatically shoved into the center spot. Today was quite memorable because I actually got to use my height for a mini public service.

Logging in today, I just realized I completely skipped the month of May. Oops! It’s not a lack of material. It's just that I’m highly skilled at ignoring this blog. I only remember it exists when I open my second Chrome profile where it’s pinned to the favorites bar. But I guess that’s just how life is moving right now. High traffic coming in, high traffic going out. So many things to do... and so many hilarious diversions.

Until next time!

 

Kalau Esok Masih Ada

Punyalah bertangguh nak menaip di sini sampai sedar tak sedar bulan April pun dah nak habis. Alahai, cerita puasa langsung tak tersebut. Cerita raya pun tak tersentuh. Dah nak sampai Raya haji dah weyyy. Apa pun kalau nak diringkaskan benda yang sememangnya ringkas, puasa tahun ini alhamdulillah berlangsung dengan baik. Raya pula, seperti biasa dua-dua kampung pun balik, cuma beza sapa dulu sapa kendian je la.Satu je yang terfikir, macam tahun ni tak berapa dapat enjoy makan ketupat palas. Lemang adalah rasa sikit, tapi tak berapa nak menikmati ...sekarang bila dah berlalu Syawal, kau macam baru tetiber rasa...ehhh..teringin pulak la jam-jam ni heheheh. Baru berangan nak shed some pounds kan...

Tidak ada perkara-perkara yang pelik berlaku, sebab tu hari-hari berlalu bagai sepoi angin petang. Tahu-tahu esok dah datang. Mujurnya sekarang ni benda yang semalam tu pun memang dah lupa habis...konon-konon nak look forward untuk esok...tapi apa kan daya, tak tahu buat apa, akhirnya esok tu dah pun menjadi sejarah. Haaa...macam tu la sehari-hari perjalanan hidup ini kan. Tak ada satu pun yang kekal. Semuanya bakal berlalu dan menghilang. Hujung-hujung kena tanya apa je lah yang aku ada? Yang bestnya, jawapannya...satu benda pun kau tak ada.

Bila fikir balik, kita ni sebenarnya macam musafir yang tumpang berteduh bawah pokok je. Penat berlari kejar itu ini, hujung-hujung pokok tu pun bukan kita punya, bayang-bayang dia pun akan beralih bila matahari terbenam. Kita rasa macam kita "memiliki" ada kereta gah, ada rumah selesa, ada juga simpanan tapi sebenarnya semua tu cuma pinjaman bertempoh. Ibarat barang sewa , sampai masa, tuannya datang ambil balik. Masa tu, barulah kita tersentap yang tangan kita ni sebenarnya kosong. Tak ada apa yang melekat kat jari-jemari ni selain daripada debu-debu dunia yang kita canangkan sangat dulu.

Sebab tu lah, dalam ralit kita menghitung hari yang makin laju ni, kena selalu jentik hati sendiri. "Aku ni kumpul harta ke kumpul bekal?" Penat kita siang malam fikir nak penuhkan perut dan almari, tapi bab nak penuhkan "akaun" kat sana, kita selalu letak kat kategori later-later. Kita lupa yang tiket ke destinasi akhir tu tak ada tarikh luput, dia macam cek kosong. Dia boleh on bila-bila masa je. Tak payah tunggu tua, tak payah tunggu sakit. Dunia ni cuma tempat persinggahan untuk kita "top-up" amalan, bukan tempat untuk kita bina empayar yang kita sangka akan kekal selamanya.

Hujung cerita, bukan jenama baju raya atau berapa pinggan ketupat palas yang kita makan tu yang Tuhan tanya. Tapi, macam mana kita guna setiap saat yang Dia bagi sebelum semuanya jadi sejarah. Adakah masa kita habis macam tu je, atau ada sesuatu yang boleh kita bawa buat "sembang" dengan Pencipta nanti? Hidup ni singkat sangat untuk kita terus lalai. Biarlah kita tak ada apa-apa kat dunia ni, asalkan kat sana nanti, kita ada "sesuatu" yang boleh buat kita tersenyum. Jadi masihkah nak tunggu esok esok esok esok, apa kata mulakan dari sekarang, sebab esok tu sendiri pun belum tentu milik kita. Kenalah dengan tajuk filem...Menanti Hari Esok...dan Esok Untuk Siapa...lagi seram kalau...Tiada Esok Bagimu"...huhuhuhu

Dalam Perjalanan

Apabila sudah terlalu sering melalui jalan yang sama, sekitar masa yang sama maka perjalanan rutin itu menemukan Telipuk dengan rutin orang lain juga. Antara perasan atau tidak sahaja. Memanglah bila memandu itu Telipuk fokus pada pemanduan, tetapi ada ketika-ketikanya saat perjalanan tidak menjadi lancar, Telipuk tidak punya pilihan lain melainkan membuang pandang ke luar, melihat apa-apa jua yang tertangkap dek penglihatan Telipuk. Kadang-kadang hanya selayang pandang cuma, tidak memberikan apa-apa makna. Ada kalanya terakam kukuh. Ada beberapa sosok yang Telipuk sudah boleh cam dari kejauhan sebab sudah biasa terlihat berpapasan. Sebelum puasa dulu, akan biasa terlihat kelibat seorang mamat ni berjogging. Masa mula-mula nampak dulu, dia sekadar brisk walk . Everyday, without fail,  akan nampak dia di arah bertentangan laluan Telipuk menuju ke persimpangan trafik Jalan 6. Hari demi hari langkah dia semakin mantap dan konsisten. Hemmm...kalaulah Telipuk pun buat macam tu beberapa bulan lalu, agak-agak dah boleh masuk Standchart punya running event kot...hahahahaha. Bulan puasa ni tak pula Telipuk nampak lagi kelibat mamat ni. Agaknya dah ubah jadual kot. Apapun Telipuk tumpang bangga dengan gaya hidup sihat dia, wajar dicontohi jua.

Okay, yang kedua, ialah sosok seorang gadis muda yang berjalan kaki menuju ke LRT Sentul Timur. Dalam ramai-ramai manusia itu, pandangan mata Telipuk terhenti kepada dia. Orangnya kurus. Jalannya perlahan. Sebelah tangan memaut crutches, langkah kaki diatur pelahan. Headphone terlekap kemas atas kepala, sikit pun tudungnya tak kemek. She looks so cool. Ya, orangnya manis. Jauh juga tu dia berjalan dalam keadaan begitu. Nampak fragile tapi dalam masa yang sama terlihat kuat. Telipuk pasti ia bukan sesuatu yang mudah, baik dari segi fizikal mahupun mental. Setiap kali menunggu dalam barisan panjang yang bergerak lambat dek menunggu lampu trafik bertukar warna, setiap kali itulah Telipuk akan menjengah mencari kelibat gadis itu. Samada dia akan berada hampir berdekatan warung Jack Masala Tea ataupun dia sudah melepasi kuil, bergantung kepada kecepatan Telipuk sampai. Bila melihat kepayahan orang lain, rasa insaf bahawa apa yang kita lalui sebenarnya tak adalah seberat mana. Telipuk harap gadis itu kekal kuat dan semoga diberikan kesembuhan atas apa jua penyakit yang dialaminya.

Seterusnya bila Telipuk sudah berhasil melepasi trafik light pertama, dan kalau bernasib baik trafik light kedua dan ketiga juga (sebab tiga-tiganya hampir serentak bertukar warna), maka Telipuk dah tak de kesempatan nak tengok itu ini, hanya fokus pada pemanduan. Sentul Link tu lazimnya lancar dan kena berhati-hati dengar motosikal baik yang laju mahupun yang perlahan kerana bahagian tepinya tak lebar mana. Ada je yang akan makan jalan. Begitu juga di penghujung jalan sebelum bercantum dengan Lebuhraya Sultan Iskandar (Mahameru) yang perlu masuk secara berselang-seli bilamana jalan dua lorong menjadi satu. So, dekat situ memang tak de melilau mata. Di atas Mahameru, biasanya Telipuk memandu di lorong paling kanan, bukan sebab Telipuk bawak laju tapi sebab ada je driver yang akan bertukar lorong ke kiri nak ke arah Semantan/Damansara/Lebuhraya Sultan Abdul Halim...jadi tak payah Telipuk nak tekan-tekan brek. Hanya bila dah lepas Lake Garden tu je, mula Telipuk menyusur ke kiri dan stay di lorong kanan juga untuk menghala ke Bangsar berhadapan dengan kawasan KL Sentral. Bila lepas susur ke Petaling Jaya dan Jalan Maarof (biasanya pagi-pagi ni polis trafik dah tutup jalan ni), barulah Telipuk duduk paling kiri dan  bergantung kepada awal mana Telipuk sampai di situ, menentukan lama mana Telipuk perlu tunggu untuk melepasi persimpangan trafik Pantai Baharu. Kat sinilah biasanya Telipuk akan nampak kelibat seorang lelaki yang berjalan kaki. Telipuk gelar dia 'oppa' sebab dia macam ala-ala oppa hahahaha. Ada sekali tu Telipuk sampai sedikit awal, dan nampak dia sudah berjalan. Rasa-rasanyalah, dia naik lrt dan turun di stesen Abdullah Hukum. So, logiklah dia berjalan dari situ...tapi agak jauh tu sebab kadang-kadang Telipuk nampak dia berjalan melepasi kawasan perumahan Putra Ria...kerja kat Media Prima ke eh? Tapi memang menarik perhatian jugaklah tengok dia berjalan, biasa tengok foreigner je jalan kaki jauh-jauh macam tu. Dia jalan nampak santai dan rileks. Muka dia memang muka senyum...rambut beralun bila berjalan. Berbaju kemeja longgar lengan pendek, sebelah tangan dalam saku seluar. Beg galas disarung melintang. Orangnya tinggi lampai, tak gemuk dan tak kurus. Sedang-sedang aje. Wahhhhh...deskripsi kemain. Yelah, dah selalu nampak kannn. Hehehehe. Apa agaknya cerita dia ya? Hemmm...menarik kan, bila kita ada masa memerhatikan sekeliling. Ada ramai manusia dengan cerita masing-masing. Kalau boleh dengar semuanya pun tak larat nak dengar. Jadi, fokuslah kepada cerita diri kita sendiri...tu pun, tak larat kita nak hadap kan. But, we just show up la kan...no matter what.

Begitulah kisah perjalanan yang kedengaran rutin tetapi tetap ada sesuatu di sebaliknya. Pengajarannya, setiap kita ada permulaan dan penghujung. Kita tahu kita bermula dari mana, dan seharusnya kita tahu ke mana destinasi kita. Dan sepanjang perjalanan itu, kita akan bertemu dengan macam-macam dugaan atau distraction yang boleh menyebabkan kita tersasar dari tujuan asal. Tak penting peristiwa apa yang berlaku kat kita tu, yang penting jangan sampai tersasar jauh, agak-agak dah menjauh tu...cepat-cepat balik ikut laluan yang betul. Haaa...macam tu. Boleh faham ke wey? 😅